Well today started out much like other days, you know the drill-feed kids and critters, listen to a hundred and one whines about school work and how mean the teacher is but that’s where the typical ends. Today I have proven that it is possible to kick your own butt and knock yourself silly all at the same time!
Alright now I know you are expecting an explanation so please follow closely as this is too embarrassing to repeat more than once. It all began with milking time. I gathered the needed supplies, sanitized my hands, grabbed the milking bucket and headed outside. I guess I should mention milking goats with gloves does not work- yes I have tried. Mind you the wind is blowing and it is a balmy 8 degrees out my goal was to hurry out- Prepared, milk and hurry back in. Best laid plans yada yada y’all know where this is going! First problem, kids didn’t separate goats and all the does were mixed in together in the dry doe shelter……including my goats who needed milked. Strike one! So with grain bucket and milking bucket in hand I attempt to open the gate, sort out one single girl to milk and Ha I was successful, well almost. I get her to the stand and latched in, feed her some grain, wipe down her bag and disinfect my hands again which by now are feeling the cold (remember-quick trip no gloves) and just as I get about a cup of milk in the bucket I am bombarded by flying goats. Strike two! Seriously they were coming at me from all directions flying over top and spilling the milk, the grain from the bucket and as I attempt to gain some semblance to the chaos I tripped over a goat sprinting under my legs and find myself looking at the sky-Strike three and I’m done counting! I managed to get up and check for injuries to the goats who of course had none but my butt sure hurt! Alright grabbing goat collars 2 at a time I managed after several trips to get goats in appropriate quarters and was ready to resume milking but now I am out of grain. Curse words came to mind but I stifled them, beat my hands on my legs to help warm them up, went and refilled the grain bucket then completed milking the very impatient goat on the milking stand. Everything appeared to be back to normal except my butt was aching and fingers weren’t working quite right due to being half froze so one gal left to milk I persevered. The occasional errant squirt of milk blinding me with a white cloud (eye glasses, milk and freezing temperatures not a good mix) I was in the home stretch! Woo hoo!!!! I placed the milk bucket on it’s appropriate stand, released the latch and with perfect timing tripped over some invisible object just as the goat decides to jump knocking the head latch sideways and straight onto my head! Poo!
Regaining my composure……again, shaking off the stars I’m seeing behind the white milk fog I get the last gal put up for the night and head inside. The milk has begun to freeze-well what is left of it and I quickly get it straining into jars and go behind the curtain, mirror in hand to check my backside to see why it is STILL aching. Wait for it…… Here it comes……plainly imprinted on the cheek of my butt is the chain marks from my ice cleats. Yes I knocked myself silly and kicked my own butt-I would love to say this is not a typical day but I would be lying.
My fingers have thawed, my head has a black and blue lump from the top of my head down onto my forehead, my butt is bruised but not nearly as bad as my pride but that too will heal. I am blessed to have the health to recover rapidly, I couldn’t ask for anything more. God Bless and good night folks.